Archive | January, 2013

Positive.

7 Jan

I want to have goals.  I do have goals.  I mean, really, who doesn’t…it’s just that many of us are good at keeping them and some of us are more mediocre.  Anyhow, over the past few years, I have chosen a word to meditate on, to direct my choices.

In 2011, as I approached the birth of my second son, after having survived (barely) horrible postpartum depression and anxiety with my first, my word was HOPE.  I had that word plastered everywhere.  I spent a whole weekend praying on that one word, in fact.

In 2012, after successfully avoiding severe PPD, I realized that while I was so proud and grateful for the blessing of being able to not only remember, but enjoy, my son’s infancy, that I was still fighting.  Fighting the demons of my past, and honestly, the demons of my present, too.  The difficult relationships, the imperfection of just being human.  I felt constantly disappointed and convinced that the difficulty letting go and finding joy in everyday life, not just special events, was the fault of others and outside factors.  And then I woke up.  I realized that my life was pretty good and that a big part of my challenges were about my lack of being able to cope when things weren’t exactly how I wanted them.  Ahhhh…enter ACCEPTANCE.  It began as a Lenten practice and then became a life practice.  Two steps forward, seventy five back.  I probably could’ve taken that one on as a five-year-plan, but instead in 2013, I have chosen anew.

This year’s word is POSITIVE.  I am anything but 100% certain that I will be anymore successful at this practice than I have been at others, but I am determined to try.  To become someone who sees with rosy glasses and always views the glass as half full.  It won’t be easy.  It will take lots of practice and mindfulness and thought-stopping or replacing, but I will do it.

Here’s to facing life each day with the calm, goofy, and upbeat perspective I had in this photo!

DSCN4452

Bless your heart ;-),

Amber

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